Stir Craziness

Spent two hours on hold over the weekend, trying to get my satellite provider -- WildBlue -- to help me figure out my slow connection (I got FAP'ed, but never notified about it. Swine.) Had the following conversation:

"So why can't I change my password so I can see how much bandwidth I'm using?"

"Well, there's an outage."

"Server or satellite?"

"It's an outage."

"I know, but is it a server outage or a satellite outage?"

"It's an outage."

"Do you know what kind of an outage?"

"It's an outage."

Then, come to find out I need to get more freakin' paperwork filled out before I can go back to work. Problem is, this is paperwork I asked to have sent to me in January, and it would now be ... March?

Yes, indeed.

Clearly, there has been great and massive fuckery across the land since I checked out in mid-January. I'm going to have to get back to work and see what can be done about it all ...