The Dog Said No

He did. Really.

I woke up at my usual 5:30 a.m., full of sunshine and good cheer. Rolled over to check my handy outdoor thermometer -- 25! Not bad!

Took me a minute and a pair of reading glasses to figure that was, um, -25. Might have had something to do with the fact that the thermometer is on the west side of the house. Couldn't have been colder than, oh, -20 on the east side. Wind looked like it was out of the north, about 40 mph, but it was hard to tell since there was a nice little mini-whiteout of blowing snow.

I looked over the edge of the bed where Stink, one of two the border collies, had taken up residence. Border collies are smart. But border collies also need constant motion. If border collies had opposable thumbs, we would not be snacking quite so high on the food chain.

"Wanna go for a run?"

Stink (who like Native Americans, earned his name) thought about it for a minute.

"Did I get into the trash again last night?"

"It's not punishment."

"Bullshit."

"It'll be fun."

Stink snorted.

I respect a border collie's intellect. So I went back to sleep until about 8:30 a.m. Got up, did manual labor in front of the computer all day (if I didn't mention it, I work out of the house. The commute from my old office was, oh, two hours. On a good day. So this isn't entirely an awful gig, just one I'm questioning. A lot). Since I felt badly about not going out in the morning, I compensated with a decent diet:

Breakfast: 1 c raspberry granola
1 c skim milk
1 c blueberries
1 tbsp sugar

Morning snack: 1/2 dozen wheat crackers
2 c dried apples

Lunch: 1 c green beans/new potatoes with mustard vinaigrette

Afternoon snack: Nature Valley maple granola bar

Dinner: 8 c green salad with salsa dressing, cheese, tortilla strips
Banana

Not enough protein, I'm thinking. Should've boiled and eaten the border collie.

Worked until 5 p.m., then blew the proverbial whistle. I usually spend most of the morning recuperating from running and shift into a higher gear around 3 p.m. or so, but since I didn't run this morning, I'd actually gotten a fair amount done before noon. So I changed into my slightly schizo running outfit -- Texas flag shorts and a University of Alaska hoodie -- and headed out to the only gym in the valley.

The bicycling wasn't bad, but that might have had something to do with the fact that it was (a) indoors, in a lovely heated building and (b) on a stationary bike that didn't have to dodge the ski trash coming up for a very early weekend without snow tires or, as near as anyone can tell, an IQ. Anyway, I did 13.2 miles (365 calories) at a very slow pace (65 minutes) while reading a book about canning food. Which sounds kind of intimidating, full of warnings about botulism and exploding glass jars and pH levels. Should've stuck to the gardening book.

I thought about the treadmill, but I pulled an Achilles tendon a few weeks ago and didn't want to go through that again. For some reason, I really hurt myself on treadmills -- shin splints, runner's knee, you name it. Doesn't matter if it's a good treadmill or a bad one. I get hurt. So I went for the elliptical trainer and did 3.2 miles (395 calories) , again at a pretty leisurely pace (8:30 per mile).

All in all, not a bad workout. Burned enough calories for, oh, one Burger King Whopper! With cheese! And got the accolade from one of the gym rats, which made me feel good. Kid must've been about 12 years old, all muscle and tattoos with no stamina. I'd been on the cycle about 45 minutes.

"Dude," he said. "You're still going? Dude."

I think I'll sleep well tonight. Lately, I've been waking up around 1:30 a.m. or so, not being able to go back to sleep until 3:30 a.m. or 4:00 a.m. Myocalm puts me down, but doesn't keep me down. Makes for a grumpy morning run, if at all. So that's another incentive to keep plugging away.

Supposed to be cold again tomorrow, about -10 at 6 a.m. and breezy.

Somehow, I'm guessing what Stink's answer will be.